my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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