How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
