Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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