im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
where am i from again
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
