If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
