and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
