I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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