We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
