You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Alive.
So much puke
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
