I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize