i permit you to call me
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
