How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
