You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize