She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
