I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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