wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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