How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
