well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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