Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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