Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Help me help you realize you are a moron
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
