ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
