I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
