Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
did you just send me my own nude
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
