Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
