Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
