I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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