haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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