Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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