Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she looked like the before picture.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
