Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
