I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
