Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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