I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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