did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
