is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
