Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
