i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Randomize