I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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