He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
