she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
