she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
