I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
