How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
