that's an acceptable place to lick
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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