areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize