My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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