I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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