5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
