Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize