you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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