so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The Olympian is in my bed
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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