I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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