i jhust puked up my retainher.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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