what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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