i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
