I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
