We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
