Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just want nice things and good sex
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize