9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I need to wash the frat house off of me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
