the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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