Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
...so i touched it.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
