The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So. Much. Porn.
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