I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There r osticjed everywhere
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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